Lost

Awarded For Holy Grieving

A Little Something to Cheer You On

You decided to do this differently. 

You rejected the idea of "just get over it" or "shove it down, distract and move faster, so it can't get you". 

You said No to these imposters parading as strength or good ideas.

You knew it would get you. 

It would sneak up on you sideways

and

lay

you

right

out. 

So you decided to make some room.

And it probably will still

lay

you

right

out. 

Grief is so tricky like that.

But you decided not to be surprised or demand it to behave differently. It won't listen anyway. 

And life will not be the same.

And you will not rush this process. 

You will make room for it to make a big ol', cleansing mess. 

You know that tears are our soul's built in energy cleansers.

And you will cry as many of them as you need to, when you need to. 

You will weed those people from your life who insist you stop crying and suck it up because your pain makes them uncomfortable. 

You have LOST

And you will not apologize for your emotions at this time. 

You will be done crying when you are done crying.

You will come out from under your covers or back from your walkabout when you are ready. 

You will take your time. 

You will let the pieces of you be rearranged in the way it came to rearrange you. 

You will not know the meaning of this unpleasant rearranging until later, much later, when retrospect is your cherished companion. 

Until then, you trust this very uncomfortable process. 

Because you know that this did not happen for nothing.

And you pledge that it will not mean nothing

It will mean something

Even if you have no idea what that is right now. 

It will mean something.

And that something will be useful. 

In the strangest way, it will be useful and it will propel you to the next good place you didn't want to go. 

You don't stress yourself out pretending it's good or it feels fine. 

It’s not fine and it won't feel good. 

Maybe a person you loved in the depths of your being, has died. They are not coming back. 

Although, you know their spirit is always with you, the holding-them-in-your-arms portion of your relationship is over. 

The heart-to-heart, face-to-face conversations have come to a close. 

The opportunity to say,

'I love you'

or

'I'm Sorry'

or both

is gone.

And navigating with the invisible version of them will take some time. 

Or maybe a relationship has ended and although you reject the idea that anyone needs anyone else to be complete, you can't quite shake the feeling that you have just been disconnected from the other half of your body. 

And somehow you need to walk forward, anyway.

Or maybe a road you thought was your road is closed. 

So it is. 

Pull over, My Love.

Pull over.

When it's time to drive again, you'll know. 


SOUL SUPPORT RECIPE

Let someone who cares about you cook for you in your own home or go to their house,  if you are up for it.

Receive the home cooked meal and the much needed TLC.


Suggested Music to honor it:  

1. “Feather on the Clyde” -Passenger

2. “What Sarah Said”-Death Cab for Cutie

3. “Just Breathe”-Pearl Jam

4. “Everglow”-Coldplay

 

See Spotify Playlist: The Soul Success Medals for Humanity